The Business End of Death (Part 1)
Unless Jesus returns first, fully one out of every one people will die.
That includes you and me.
And yet, for so many people, death takes them totally by surprise – as if they knew it was true, but they never expected it to happen to them. The World Bank figures the average life-expectancy at 67 years. In this country, men live, on average, 72 years. Women live 79 years.
It’s not just that death takes the dying by surprise. It also takes their family and friends by surprise.
This series of blogs is not designed to ease the pain of loss. It is designed to be informative about the business end of death - specifically, planning for it. One caveat. I am a minister, not an attorney. The following advice is the result of personal experience, not legal expertise.)
There are three documents everyone needs:
The first is an Advance Medical Directive. This is a written document signed by you in the presence of two unrelated witnesses. For you, it has two purposes: first to designate whether you wish to be kept alive by artificial means to prolong the dying process. Second, the document appoints a specific responsible party to make medical decisions on your behalf if you are unable to make the decisions. Do not presuppose that if you do not do this a family member (wife, child, etc.) will be able to do it for you. It may be a decision your wife or child simply cannot bring themselves to make. Families are often conflicted over this process and hard feelings frequently arise (for example: “you didn’t fight to keep mom/dad alive.”) Additionally, if you are single, doctors and medical personnel simply will not talk to anyone, family or friend, about this matter. You must make this decision.
The second document is a Durable General Power of Attorney. This is a written document signed by you in the presence of a notary public (who should affix her/his notary seal to the document). It has only one purpose: to appoint someone to take care of your affairs (financial and otherwise) should you need someone to do that. This becomes especially important if you are not married, or if for some reason your spouse is unable to perform those duties. If you should have a stroke or other debilitating illness, and have no Power of Attorney, no one will be able to pay your bills, or even talk to the doctors on your behalf. Doctors and medical personnel will be reluctant to talk with or consult with anyone who is not a spouse or have a Power of Attorney.
Depending on your stage of life, you may need several of these. Neither the IRS nor the Social Security Administration will accept a Power of Attorney unless it is their Power of Attorney. They each have a specific form thaqt must be filed in advance. The Power of Attorney allows the person you designate equal authority over your assets while you live. Be careful whom you designate. It doesn’t just work if you are incapacitated.
The Power of Attorney ends at death. I accompanied family members to a funeral home to make arrangements for a parent. When all arrangements were made, the Funeral Director asked for a check. A son whipped out his deceased father’s checkbook and started to write the check. “Are you on that account?” the director asked. “I have Power of Attorney” was the reply. The Funeral Director said: “Not any more. Your father is deceased.” This is why it is also important, if you are single, to have someone else on your checking account, and why it is important to have someone legally designated to take over with instructions on how things are to be done.
The third document is a will. If you have no will, and you die, it will not matter what you said during your lifetime about the disposition of your assets. The government will dispose of it according to prescribed legal protocols. History is full of hurt feelings because of disagreements among family members at the death of a loved one. You are responsible for keeping the peace by planning during your life.
Next week: Planning a funeral.
That includes you and me.
And yet, for so many people, death takes them totally by surprise – as if they knew it was true, but they never expected it to happen to them. The World Bank figures the average life-expectancy at 67 years. In this country, men live, on average, 72 years. Women live 79 years.
It’s not just that death takes the dying by surprise. It also takes their family and friends by surprise.
This series of blogs is not designed to ease the pain of loss. It is designed to be informative about the business end of death - specifically, planning for it. One caveat. I am a minister, not an attorney. The following advice is the result of personal experience, not legal expertise.)
There are three documents everyone needs:
The first is an Advance Medical Directive. This is a written document signed by you in the presence of two unrelated witnesses. For you, it has two purposes: first to designate whether you wish to be kept alive by artificial means to prolong the dying process. Second, the document appoints a specific responsible party to make medical decisions on your behalf if you are unable to make the decisions. Do not presuppose that if you do not do this a family member (wife, child, etc.) will be able to do it for you. It may be a decision your wife or child simply cannot bring themselves to make. Families are often conflicted over this process and hard feelings frequently arise (for example: “you didn’t fight to keep mom/dad alive.”) Additionally, if you are single, doctors and medical personnel simply will not talk to anyone, family or friend, about this matter. You must make this decision.
The second document is a Durable General Power of Attorney. This is a written document signed by you in the presence of a notary public (who should affix her/his notary seal to the document). It has only one purpose: to appoint someone to take care of your affairs (financial and otherwise) should you need someone to do that. This becomes especially important if you are not married, or if for some reason your spouse is unable to perform those duties. If you should have a stroke or other debilitating illness, and have no Power of Attorney, no one will be able to pay your bills, or even talk to the doctors on your behalf. Doctors and medical personnel will be reluctant to talk with or consult with anyone who is not a spouse or have a Power of Attorney.
Depending on your stage of life, you may need several of these. Neither the IRS nor the Social Security Administration will accept a Power of Attorney unless it is their Power of Attorney. They each have a specific form thaqt must be filed in advance. The Power of Attorney allows the person you designate equal authority over your assets while you live. Be careful whom you designate. It doesn’t just work if you are incapacitated.
The Power of Attorney ends at death. I accompanied family members to a funeral home to make arrangements for a parent. When all arrangements were made, the Funeral Director asked for a check. A son whipped out his deceased father’s checkbook and started to write the check. “Are you on that account?” the director asked. “I have Power of Attorney” was the reply. The Funeral Director said: “Not any more. Your father is deceased.” This is why it is also important, if you are single, to have someone else on your checking account, and why it is important to have someone legally designated to take over with instructions on how things are to be done.
The third document is a will. If you have no will, and you die, it will not matter what you said during your lifetime about the disposition of your assets. The government will dispose of it according to prescribed legal protocols. History is full of hurt feelings because of disagreements among family members at the death of a loved one. You are responsible for keeping the peace by planning during your life.
Next week: Planning a funeral.
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