We will all face death. At least our own, but likely also the death of some we love. When the time comes, it's important to be ready. As a minister, most folks expect me to write about the spiritual preparation for death. I am going to do that, but there is a business end as well, one that all too often takes us by surprise.

The following looks at death from the perspective of someone arranging his own funeral. (You can also read it to help you decide what decisions you need to make for a loved one who has passed and has not previously made their own arrangements.) It will be important to write down your wishes and entrust that document to a trustworthy person you have legally empowered to carry out your directives. You should let your family members know who this person is so there will be no confusion about the matter later. That person should live in your community and be able to act without the help of others.

When death occurs, there must be some official pronouncement. When my mother passed away, pronouncement was made at her home by the hospice nurse. A friend passed away recently at a hospital. Medical personnel made the pronouncement there. The next step after the pronouncement is to call the funeral home. In a hospital or nursing home, the staff will likely make the call on behalf of the family. At home, the responsible family member will have to do it.

But which funeral home?

I have stood at the foot of many a bed as family members asked: "Who do we call? Which funeral home?" If you have no intention of having a funeral, or if the casket will not be opened, it may not matter. But if you have a traditional funeral, it certainly will matter. I was called to a hospital ER some years ago to be with the family of a man who was having a heart attack. It was massive, and the doctors were not able to save him. The wife wanted to see her husband before the funeral home came, and asked that I accompany her. The doctors advised against it, but she insisted. I have never seen a more frightening corpse. The heart attack left him with a wild expression of pain, an expression I can see to this day. It is the work of the funeral home to get rid of that expression – and they don’t all do it equally well. Lengthy illnesses also often leave one a mere shell of the person they once were. The skill of the funeral home comes into play here as they restore your looks to something more recognizable by your friends.

So how do you choose?

Go to some funerals. You ought to do it anyway, especially of church members because, after all, you and they are part of the same body – the body of Christ, the family of God. You should be supportive of your spiritual family. Find out the funeral home in charge. See the restoration yourself. Also, watch in the funeral for how the service is conducted. Talk to the family afterwards and see how they felt about the funeral home. Was the funeral well organized? Were the arrangements and instructions from funeral home personnel clear and dignified at the graveside? Observation will help you make a good decision. My wife and I have narrowed the list of preferred funeral homes by going to funerals and making a list of those we didn't like.

Where will your funeral be held and where will you be buried? It does matter. If your funeral is in one city (or State), and the burial is in another, you will need to make arrangements with two funeral homes. The expense does not double, but it will increase and if transportation of some distance is involved, the costs will be considerable.

All I have said here is: "Choose a funeral home." If you just can't bear to think about it, or go to the trouble, imagine how difficult it will be for those who love you to make this decision for you.

Next week: At the funeral home.